rough day

I try not to use my blog to vent and complain because I know I am truly blessed in many ways. But sometimes it's juts a rough day.


I have been stressing all day about passing my pregnancy glucose test because last time I was pregnant I failed the first test and had to do the full-day version (which I ended up passing just fine). It was one of the worst experiences I have ever had. I had to fast for 12 hours, then chug a nasty sugar syrup and have my blood drawn every hour for 4 hours. Meanwhile I sat in a uncomfortable waiting room chair just praying that I wouldn't throw up or pass out because then I knew I would have to do it all over again. It is such an inhumane thing to make a pregnant woman endure. Now that I have gone through labor I would have to say the full-day glucose test was actually worse. 


So, because I was so worried about passing the test the first time so I wouldn't have to go through that again, I have been eating high protein all day (torture for me) and not snacking before the test even though I was starving because I didn't want to spike my blood sugar. I made arrangements with Phil for him to come home from work early to watch Liam and I finished up my own work early so I could get to the doctor's office on time. When I arrive, they tell me that whoever scheduled me must have made a mistake because the lab is about to close so I'll have to reschedule. I burst into tears. Right there, in the middle of the waiting room, I cry my head off. I start apologizing because I know it's not the lab tech's fault and I babble about coming to the doctor every day and being tired and hungry. I just wanted to run away.


I have been pleasantly surprised at the grace God has given me throughout this whole ordeal so far but I guess a lot of stress has been building up. The truth is, I am sick of going to doctors appointments. Sick of sitting in waiting rooms. Sick of paying for parking at the hospital. Sick of trying to arrange babysitters. Sick of making Phil take time off work. I'm worried that he won't have any vacation days left by the time this baby comes. I'm worried that we'll never get to use vacation days for an actual vacation. Worried that we'll never get to do anything fun together again. Worried that our relationship will suffer from all this stress. Worried about how Liam is being affected. Worried about the baby.


In my heart I know that this time will pass and that everything will work out. But today was a rough day.